Moving the mountain

1989, Tiananmen Square.

It was my last year at HK Poly. I almost waved the Chinese flag supporting the students' protest. Nationalism had never been a trendy thing in HK until that summer. Like fashion, it gradually slowed down after the incident.

Watched Moving the mountain 12 years after it was released. Didn't feel much about the student protest any more. It's like an old wound that left a scar. It's better left untouched. But it's not forgotten.

In the documentary, the then student leaders regretted what they did. We all did. Youth was about doing the wrongs and making bad decisions. Who dare to organize a protest like that in China except the students?

They died too young, too naive. Was there any value for losing their lives? Was there any impact to the system? Do we really want to move the mountain? Are we still trying to move the mountain? Is there a mountain?

If the students were willing to dismiss earlier.. If the government gave way to the students.. If we didn't scream and yell on the other side of the shore..

I can imagine how hard it is for the survivors to live in the shadows of a massacre. As for the leaders, it was hard not to put the blame on oneself.

"I didn't kill hundreds, but the hundreds died because of me." ~ Chinese proverb

But what done is done, there is no turning back. The only thing a survivor can do for the dead is to treasure one's life, have faith, and continue to live.