Being Boring

Another song by the Boys.

I am a cynical person. No doubt about it. Is being cynical keeping me from happy?

Not sure about you, but I haven't spend my time thinking if I am happy or not. By not thinking about it, I don't feel if I am actually liking or disliking the life I am living - if I'm living. I am not interested in taking stock of myself - in that particular aspect.

I question if people saying they are happy are truly happy. Or those who say they were never being boring think they are not boring..

I am glad I wake up daily, go to work, accomplish some tasks, and go home at night. I think by doing what I am doing, I help someone. Contributing my tiny efforts to the society. There are always moments of joy, struggle, confusion, anger, ... but it's out of our controls most of the time. Life is just a long chain of improvising moments. I am not saying if I'm happy or unhappy, I just don't want to pretend I know it is or it is not, and I don't want to pretend I am or I am not. Things changes every moment, and it's totally out of our hands.

I can also be a coward who's too afraid to admit I'm happy. So I can shield from the pain when I am down and unhappy.

I am not forgetting if I remember what I tried to forget. Life's so emotionally complex that I think it is impossible to label. Maybe we need to make believe, that's what this song and a whole bunch of sweet talks to ourselves is all about.